The social experience I imagined I saw it as something that brought me closer to others, in reality I felt it moving away and turning off inside because the presence had turned from experimenting to wanting to get. The wanting to get can be used as a form of "money", a need we have and that someone or something can satisfy if we do certain favors or actions.
The risk, according to what I heard in the days following the attempt to create content, is to "lower head and attention" to the satisfaction of one algorithm and others rather than stay focused on what really matters to us.
I have created content, monitored its evolution, success and reactions, but the visibility of this content has complex and perhaps well-defined rules so if you don’t follow them, you may find yourself penalized.
As time went by I realized a high number of views but few or even no reactions. It could be a moment to move from the dream to the goal of simply reaching certain numbers. In this situation I felt that the climate inside my soul was cooling and that non-positive sensations were growing.
As a creator I went to dress again as an observer and what I watched, I did not like! I thought that I was aiming for that, to enter that dimension and have those characteristics of who was there longer and is thus considered to be "success".
Initially I have to say I was proud of some creations that had formed so, at the moment and then, magazines later, they gave me something for which I then decided to try to share them by putting myself in the game. Later the pleasure turned almost into a job with the disappointment of seeing that, things were not going so well.
Initially I thought of trying to experience an experience that I had experienced as a spectator but, only later, entering more into the social experience, I discovered that this was not possible because it required the achievement of goals and therefore the following certain rules. Rules that would distance me from listening to what I had inside or that would bring more numbers than emotions.
Wandering around the web I discovered a world where there is the market that sells you the numbers you might need, I took a look but soon afterwards I realized what a dark ocean you went to dive in. An ocean where money always turns in the end, the god money someone tries to earn and the same reigns on social as on the web, in all the air that we breathe. Even the numbers offered in exchange for favors, do not limit themselves to the same satisfaction of participating without cheating and without using automatic algorithms.
In addition to dreams, perhaps the very idea of being able to get a job had made me "play". The truth is, the closer I thought I'd get to that dream I had, the farther I'd walk away and freeze inside!
There are so many different energies out there, I still don't quite understand, maybe, how to avoid losing me and feeling contaminated by stopping feeling my inner flame, what I am, what I believe in, what is important to me and what might make me feel good. The truth is, maybe I don't know what might make me feel good. I feel like a fish out of water, an extra Earther approached to the planet and the wrong size.
At the time when social media captures us and, lately, they also become paid, I realized that I was losing my focus on what really matters.
I'm not for sale. I'm not the rule you want to turn me into.
Unfortunately like everyone else I'm blackmailable but this game makes me sick and that's why I can't stay pretending nothing.
I return to the inner waves that distinguish my strange dimension where emotions are a thousand times stronger than they are in what they call "real life".
I'm afraid my company isn't on social media.
A social had presented me with warmth but it took little for him to take it back, as if to remind me that everything has a price.
I came back here on peopleinside, in my dimension and I dedicated this post that, between the lines, holds a big hug all for me. A hug I really felt the need for and I wish to all those who request it.
