This written story thought emotion comes from a Friday evening scheduled this week, when people invited to eat from us, proposed a fish meeting in a quiet place. The program was to take a walk, first in the area and then reach the restaurant on foot.
The people invited to our table in my "comfort zone" gave a touch of vitality to those who were a little flat days and almost just unpleasant tension. That moment proved to be a small gift, a breath of air, something different.
While we were at the table I realized that, in my lonely world made up of many thoughts and words addressed to me, in my mind, I was of few words; I listened and ate. I was looking in every bite for some sort of relief, some brushstroke of a beautiful painting to create.
In this context the proposal of Friday evening seemed to me a good idea, something I wanted and could face to pull me out of the monotony and, to repeat the evening in company. After all, the restaurant was not far away even though there were about twenty minutes in the car.
The week went on accompanied by the first hot heats and, as Friday approached, I could feel a certain tension of having made such a commitment and of the knowledge that, in some way, everyone had the headlights of attention aimed at me because I go out little and often I might happen to cancel my presence. When this happens, I usually have to fight with the judgment and insistence of people who should be close to me. They should because we are close but also distant at the same time from both physical and emotional sides; often material closeness alone does not include that of the soul and of the harmony.
On Friday the tension was felt, not very strong but I was in doubt as to what to do. I could have gone to the meeting place with my car (thus avoiding the discomfort of feeling transported under the control of others) but, the weather was uncertain and, I feared the risk of hailstorms! I didn't have all this desire to drive!
Often the restaurant and the table are the meeting point between friends but, for those who live in a complex and emotional dimension like mine, it can easily be a source of discomfort! The biggest fear? Can’t back out of the event or feel bad during the event.
Moving, moving out of control, the traffic and patience it requires, the limited environment of the car facing curves, acceleration and braking and then the energies perceived once crossed the threshold of an unknown restaurant that I do not yet know. All this is capable of creating a perceptible discomfort.
