The place where I am is beautiful, surrounded by nature. A beautiful nature, how cruel at times and surely suffering the man who, with the pollution, has perhaps caused the allergies I am suffering here at the sea!
The place where I am is beautiful, you would stop to look at it and appreciate the colors, the scents, the calm sea in the morning and in the evening with shades of hypnotizing lights, and yet, despite so much beauty, I feel locked in a bottle.
"The boat" is beautiful, the color of the sea is beautiful but I feel that in addition to this there is more that disturbs and hunts my well-being.
Why do I feel so unwell? Meanwhile, often the morning begins with headaches and numbness and then my thoughts torment me: I start to fear the sounds, the noises, the movements around. The day does not calm, the day planned, the day when you have to do so because someone has decided. The not accepting of the nos, the not empathy of how I feel. (I think too much empathy would also be an equally annoying imbalance). Or the day that begins and you don't know how to spend it; It's only morning but you already feel it will be long to get to the evening and see the calendar day scroll forward.
On the one hand I do not want time to be programmed, on the other there is nothing that involves me in that feeling of well-being that is personal to each of us and that I cannot describe how to have it.
Often here the problem is the exits to the restaurant, the insistence and my little desire to lock myself up in a place in the middle of people while the heat and the afa have fun clinging to people. Full rooms, crazy, slow and not exactly a place to relax, although sometimes they can give it. It depends on how you feel and if you decide you want to be there. I’m avoiding them but in the end I find myself alone and with an empty fridge, without a car to move, among other things.
In addition to all of this there is this allergy or whatever... it takes me lately in the summer when I’m here; Looks like something's enjoying torturing. 🤨.
I just listen and I don't feel well. When you are not well anywhere, even the most beautiful becomes uncomfortable so I don't know and I don't think it would change much being in my house. My house that will soon become even more empty because everyone now leaves for the holidays, although I am aware that not all and, there is someone who continues to work, even now.
The feeling is to be trapped in a bottle in which I am not at all comfortable, indeed, I suffer from claustrophobia and the discomfort of an environment that I feel difficult as I am.
I look around and think that so much beauty of this place is full of happy memories and not, of my childhood, at the moment of recreation and vacation. For a few years the house here has been restored and rethought by an architect and now it seems to be in a pleasant hotel but, all this does not feel mine and I know that a near tomorrow, it will be all different from now. The room and the corridors and the living room I am living will see other stories and other people, I do not know where I will be and how I will spend the summer; Maybe Ireland?
Have I found a dimension of my comfort or will I always be trapped in some bottle where there is fear, the feeling of impotence and an economy that eats money at every breath? Who knows what the future will be, for now I feel the present and realize that I am waiting for these days and these minutes to pass and get closer and closer to a better reality.
... that maybe even in Ireland I would have my moments of discomfort. I sometimes think of Ireland for its temperature less hot than we do and for my passion for Enya. I also like nature and the symbol of the four-leaf clover.
Periodically suffering from headaches, I might appreciate the bagpipe a little less 😁.